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Even though it's difficult for you to sort it all out. there'll be a keener eye when the time comes. every thing will be sorted out: and utilized. The important thing is that you've fought bravely. As for the rest...have faith! Pride. Why do you want everythinhg? Have faith...At a certain point, be like child who's played hard all day; and at night, warm with sleepiness, he's picked up in his father's arms and carried to bed. Have faith. Why must you hang on so savagely? Ugo Betti